The Hedonistic Sweetheart

     Happy ‘World Goth Day’ ! I’d like to be celebrating, but I am a complete hermit. (Actually, in a way, you could say I HAVE INDEED been celebrating.)

     Today SUCKS. Wednesday should please come already. Today my beloved one was supposed to come over as I’ve not been laid in two weeks, prime objective was to FUCK. As I predicted, he stayed up late causing him to be tired when most of the world is up & about.

     So, I am sexually frustrated and simultaneously tense & stressed & have I mentioned that I’ve been murdering everyone in my imagination? Plus, I am easily stirred into RAGING ANGST FILLED MASS OF JEALOUSY in about a split second.

     TODAY….BEGONE!!! TOMORROW….ARRIVE!!!

(Source: itsmyurls.com)

     Sooo…last night I had an emotional implosion due to an argument fueled by not seeing my Beloved for EONS & the fact that I’m bleeding from the vagina.

       When I was finally calm enough to interact with others, I asked my mom if there was anything we could do - proposed grocery shopping, actually - when she proposed the idea of dinner (OUT) & a movie. 

This turned out to be the best idea ever.

      After a glorious feast consisting of Fried Cheese, Friday’s Shrimp & Oreo Madness (mouthgasm!), mom & I headed to catch an 11 o’clock showing of “The Avengers”. Please be aware that I only even ever ponder watching a comic book movie if I have any inkling of greatness. GREATNESS. 

     This film was nothing less than UTTER GREATNESS. I cannot even describe to you the IMMENSE SURGE OF PURE ENERGY coursing through my veins as I left the theater! I could not - no way in HELL - sleep after that.

     I need to watch it AGAIN. More than once. I need that ENERGY.
:3

(Source: itsmyurls.com)

      Today was a weird and unproductive day.
      Mom’s tech friend Pedro slept over and I couldn’t get any camming done. By the time he left, I was completely uninterested. I slept most of the day. I’ve been bleeding this week, and I dread the thought of bloodying up my Hitachi. I smoked my last bowl today. It rained, so I dared not paint anything. It was a very lazy day. 
     I’m not even sure if I’m going to cam tomorrow. Dan’s supposed to come, but I still can’t trust him to ever come to me. On time. He’s currently saying he’ll come at 1 pm the latest tomorrow. I hope he fucks me.  I hope I’m almost done bleeding.

     
     That’s not even the part that’s fucking bugging me out. The part that’s bugging me out is that I have mysteriously dry patches on my lips. So dry they’ve changed the texture of the surrounding skin & discolored it. >:( My Grandma gave me something to moisturize earlier in the week, but I ended up having an allergic reaction to it. I want desperately to know WHAT it is & HOW to treat it. I don’t know when, but my mom said she’d make an appointment soon. I NEED IT GONE NOW. I need to be able to kiss with confidence, I need to be able to smile without my lips cracking. Sometimes it really fuckin’ stings!

Well, I’m gonna quit ranting now. Hit up my wishlist if you wanna lift my spirits <3 

(Source: itsmyurls.com)